If your sky is falling, take my hand and hold it.

Blargh. I totaled my car tonight. When I have a bad week, I don't do it half-heartedly. Hell, no. I go all out. All is well though... In the big scheme of things, everything is fine. I am minus one cat and one car than I was a week ago, but I am fine and I still have a house and a job and family and friends and three seasons of "Designing Women" and a bag of those awesome cinnamon imperials candies to eat. So, there's really not a whole lot to complain about.

I'm looking at cars online and I am completely overwhelmed. I have no idea what is a good car versus what is not? I would like good mileage and good safety. I know I'll be buying a used car, but I have a lot of research to do suddenly in the auto world. I haven't ever had the luxury of choosing a car for myself. I had a Nissan Sentra that I bought in college and it was good. It served me well through my Texas adventures. I bought it because it was cheap and the only thing I could afford, not because it was necessarily fantastically reviewed or anything. But I ended up loving it. It was a good little car with the most kickass sound system a gal could want. I mean, people could hear me coming down the streets in Waco like you wouldn't believe. And then I sold Luna the Sentra after I kind of inherited my mom's Subaru (named Tinker). I had no car payments on and it served me well, also. Tonight, especially. I am sold on the safety of Subarus. I would definitely get another one if I could somehow afford it. That cashflow thing seems to be where my hiccup is. I had thought to get a new car but not yet. I was thinking maybe next year sometime after I actually was working for a while and saved up some moolah. My dad offered me his Subaru (named Pilgrim) to commute back and forth for a while. I might do that for a bit. Pilgrim is bigger and I'm not as comfortable with it as I was with Tinker, but I'd feel safe driving it.

Let's end this on a high note: Tomorrow is my neighboring old folks home annual cookie sale! Yuuuuum. Oatmeal scotchies, iced sugar cookies, and chocolate m&m cookies: come to mama.

Oh, and another high note: Tonight after my dad came and found me on the highway and the first wrecker man showed up, my dad took me to Steak and Shake for hot chocolate and an awesome cookie sundae thing. When the waitress came and asked us how we were doing tonight, my dad said I totaled my car and that I had a bad week and after we ate and went to pay for our food, the cashier said it had already been taken care of! How sweet is that? I love random acts of kindness from total strangers...especially when I am the recipient of it. Steak and shake waitress, I wish I could remember your name because I would write to the restaurant headquarters about how nice you all are, but since I can't remember: you are awesome and fantastic and I hope you have a wonderful life!

My boy builds coffins.

Boo. I'm feeling down in the dumps. The house feels big and lonely without that little cat in it when I get home. Last night I sat around at home. My class decided to meet online instead of in the classroom, so I was stuck sitting around the house more than I normally would on a Tuesday evening. I cleaned a little bit more around the house, and I started listening to music, which is a constant in my life normally, but when I get really sad, I don't listen so much. So, I tried to listen to some music. But I woke up this morning with "My Boy Builds Coffins" stuck in my head, and I realized my choice in music last night was probably not the healthiest. I should probably throw on something a little less maudlin.

Class was interesting last night, even though it was online. I stuffed my face with goldfish crackers the whole time and nearly choked once when the teacher suddenly asked me a question about censorship in libraries and I had to respond quickly. That's one of my issues with online classes: I become a multi-tasker and I'm not really the best at multi-tasking. It's hard for me to sit in front of the computer and just listen to a voice come through the speakers. So, I tend to snack or halfway watch a movie or surf the internet while listening. It just doesn't work out for me because I just don't pay attention. But, since I find this class really interesting and I didn't really want to focus on my empty house around me, I was paying more attention than usual last night. We got into quite the censorship discussion, although it was mostly on the topic of challenged books, I guess. The removal of books from libraries because of a patron complaint. It's going on right now in Blue Springs, Missouri, where a high school freshman read the book "Hold Still" and she shared the story with her parents, who then got upset and challenged the library, and the book has been removed. I think that fight is not over, because librarians in general have a problem with removing books because of a parent's challenge. Or any challenge, for that matter.  I looked that book up on Goodreads and it seems like everyone liked the book, there was nothing on there by those who had read it to say it wasn't a good book or that they found it offensive in any way. I have a personal opinion that many times, the challenges come from people who never read the book that they're requesting be removed. In schools, especially. Maybe the parents just overhear what the kids say the story is about, or maybe they read one or two pages in the middle somewhere and decide it's not suitable for their child. It's not the librarian's fault that a child is reading a book that the parent doesn't want the child to read. It is part of a parent's job to watch what their kids are reading, but requesting that no child be allowed to read a book that you don't want your child reading always makes me queasy. There are better ways to handle your child reading and sharing a book with you that you feel uncomfortable talking about than deciding that you want to deny this book to all children.

I am totally against the removal of a book in a library that is in the collection if it falls within the collection development parameters of that library, and is often circulated, etc. But last night my teacher made a point that I had never really thought of before and that is that librarians are often so into protecting the right to read and immediately want to throw down with any patron who dares to challenge any book in the library, that we can get pretty high and mighty about it. Most patron challenges in a public library are not taken all that seriously. Librarians provide forms for patrons to fill out when they want a book to be removed for whatever reason. Often though, this a total front to just pacify the angry patron. It also serves as fodder for jokes. My professor last night brought up this point to show that these challenges do need to be taken seriously because librarians are always removing books from the collection. Always. Weeding is a constant chore for librarians, but we want to be the ones to choose what is removed, we don't want to bow down to a patron request for removal. But, maybe the challenged book doesn't actually fit with the collection development policy in place. Maybe it really shouldn't be in the collection. It is a good point. You don't want to give in to someone who wants to censor reading in a public library, or a school library, or anywhere. Just as a matter of pride, you don't want to give in to that person. You don't want to remove a book that is popular because one person finds it offensive. It's a public library for a reason and it can't become the library of Joe Smith, who doesn't want anything on witchcraft or homosexuality in his library. And despite the fact that most public libraries are supported by tax dollars that are paid by the patrons who use it, that doesn't mean that the patrons have the right to decide what is in it or not. It really doesn't...Sorry. However, challenges should be taken seriously and actually looked at and reviewed to make sure that book was selected following the policies in place. (It would still really gall me, though, to have to remove a book from a library if the challenge was something that I completely thought was ridiculous. I would probably want to write some sort of Librarian's Rebuttal or something in response to the challenge. Kind of like the dissenting opinion in a Supreme Court case.)

So, that discussion at least got me thinking of things other than how lonely my house is. I did think of all the things I can do now though. Like cook or do yoga. Those were always a little tough with Iris around. She was my [messy] shadow and being the kitchen was her domain and you had to watch your step. Yoga was difficult because she LOVED it when you were on the floor because suddenly she could be all over you because she couldn't jump up on things, so suddenly she had free reign to headbutt you while you were trying to do yoga and hold some pose. It didn't work so well. 

Rest in peace, baby girl.

This morning Iris was euthanized. This was a really rough weekend. She hadn't been eating for much of the week, she refused to drink water, and got so weak that she couldn't walk. She would fall over and try to drag herself from one place to another. It was heartbreaking. She was frustrated at how she couldn't get around, but she had lost the will to fight any longer. She was exhausted and wasn't going to come back from this. It's sad and lonely with out her around, even though I know the decision to put her down was the right one. And I know that she had a good life and that I did what I could for her and that she was a happy cat who impressed a lot of people with her courage and her strength. I'm proud of her and, although she had a short life, I'm thankful for the privilege to have had her share her short life with me.

So long, little one.

On the day I adopted her in 2007. So tiny.

Sort of discovering the great outdoors while on vacation at my Dad's house in 2009.

My darling Iris. Even though she was never healthy like an ordinary cat, she was always sweet and loving. 

Jonathan Safran Foer

I know I'm slow to arrive to the nice, grown-up restaurant party, but listen here: I have a good one to share.

I went to Sycamore tonight for the first time ever and it was delicious! I recommend it. Not only is the food good (although at first I wasn't sure, but by the end of my meal, I was more than convinced that the chef clearly knew what he was doing). Also, far be it from me to criticize the workings of a culinary master when I mostly survive on instant oatmeal and peanut butter sandwiches. But I had the gnocchi+squash as my entree and then I got some chocolate cake for dessert. Mmmm. And the atmosphere at the place was really cool. It also seemed to attract a much cooler crowd than I'm used to seeing at my regular eating establishments...which would be Wendy's, Steak N Shake, Subway, and my kitchen...  You're thinking, 'No way. A cooler crowd than those four hoppin', trendy locales?' I know. It's pretty incredible, but true.

I'm shopping around for post-graduation celebratory eating places for the family. Another restaurant was actually on the bill for this evening, but plans change and I am flexible about that. All this rambling is to say that Sycamore on Broadway in Columbia is a must-try kind of place. Not for the quicky meal, mind you. But for the 'I'm going to enjoy this food and this atmosphere with my friends/family/significant other' kind of meal. It seemed pretty popular (good food tends to do that to a place). By the time my friend and I had left, the place was getting packed, but not uncomfortably so. If you've not been there before: do try!

http://sycamorerestaurant.com/

And if you happen to have a favorite sit-down kind of nice restaurant in Columbia that is your go-to place and you'd like to share, puh-lease leave a comment. I've coerced a co-worker or two into trying some places with me after work sometimes, and we have a list of places to try, but there's room for more!

E.M. Forster

[I make these little quote boxes now. And I will sporadically share them with you. They're quotes from books or authors or about books and authors and reading and all things awesome.]



Also, it is late and I am sleepy.

I accepted a real grown-up job this morning!

I was offered and accepted a job this morning! It will pay enough for me to commute to it! And I'll get benefits again. And vacation time. And paid holidays. And all that grown-up stuff that I actually enjoy. Maybe I can buy cable tv again? Or get my own internet? Perhaps I can even invest in a car that has better gas mileage? Oh, the possibilities. Success. Is. Miiiiine.

It's still at the same place that I do my civil war grant work, but I'll be finishing that grant and the full-time job is on a national newspaper digitization grant with the Library of Congress and the National Endowment for the Humanities will go for another two years. So, it's another two years in Central Missouri, another two years in my house (which is what I needed to do to not have to pay back my city 5 thousand dollars), and learning new skills + more money, vacation time, and benefits than I ever got working for the state. And also, my co-workers are awesome. All in all, this is good. I was looking forward to moving away and starting over someplace else, but not sure about the house situation and everything. Now I can take my time and hopefully, by 2014, the housing issues will be in a better place and so will jobs! So, it's allll good. Central Missouri, you just love me too much to lose me, I guess. But, I will be taking my beach vacations...

Here's my new project: http://www.loc.gov/ndnp/

That's where we're all the same.

Daylight Saving Time, you are a cruel master. I prefer the 'fall back' to the 'spring forward', but here it is only 6:30 pm and I'm in my jammies and pretty much ready for sleep. I've got a book to read for class this week and it's interesting, but I tend to do my best reading in bed before sleep, I'm also kind of just putting off doing my readings. It's a mind conundrum. Like, if I get into the book and start reading it now, I might actually finish it pre-bedtime and then what? I don't have a back-up book. Or, well, I do have plenty of books but none for class and I've tried reading multiple books at once and that's just a complete mess when it comes time to try to book talk in class. It becomes sort of a ramble of things like:

"The main character was put in a tower in rural China because she refused to marry the guy her dad wanted her to marry, and then a Renaissance painter showed up from a far-off kingdom and said he wanted to paint the whole family and he fell in love with the girl's servant who was also in the tower, and then there was a guy that turned into a werewolf and killed everyone in the village, but the servant escaped and wandered around for a while. Oh, and also, there was a land of wild things that was ruled by a little boy named Max then Max got bored and decided to sail back home and as he was sailing back, Amelia Earhart and Eleanor Roosevelt flew over during a night flight. And Max got home and his mom had dinner waiting for him. And Eleanor and Amelia were good friends with matching fancy scarves. And the wandering servant eventually found another village, stood up to the werewolf, saved the village and married a prince."

And then my teacher often looks at me like this:

True story.

Hmm.

Youtube swoops in for the save.

First for the pretty-song:



For the more dancy out there, this song never gets old for me. It always reminds me of a club called The Rock Castle in Perugia and it was a night club inside the wall of the city. And my roommates and I would go there and they played this song and everyone in the place would go crazy singing and dancing and generally manic-dancing like crazy people. So, get up and shake it, but don't break it, 'cause it took your mama nine months to make it: