"Say Whaa?" or "How I learned that I'm not cut out to be a robber."

So, the problem I have with deadlines almost looming, but not quite panic-inducing closing in, is that I am super easily distracted. This is just ridiculous. I tried to trick myself into finishing the assignments I have due this week, but it didn't work. Does tricking yourself ever work? Honestly? I can't think of a single time I've outsmarted myself. It's just kind of a silly notion.

I wish Adele was coming to Missouri on her next US tour. Chicago is as close as she'll be.

Maybe if I share what my assignments are, I'll actually go write them: One is developing a full collection development policy complete with selection criteria for a public library. The second is writing a dinky little paper on a case study article about evaluative methods.

...No. That didn't really make me gung-ho to go write either one.

I'm going to start a little record collection. I had a bit of a fiasco yesterday while trying to purchase the first records for my collection. I found myself walking through downtown Columbia carrying four shoplifted records. It was kind of exhilarating, but also kind of conscience-torturing. I'd never stolen anything before. Well, I've probably walked off with somebody's pen or something, but nothing as blatant as this. It all had to do with the fact that I don't carry cash. I got into a strange back-and-forth with an older man in this out-of-the-way thrift shop. The man wouldn't get up out of his seat to actually sell me the records. The place takes debit cards (which is what I had out and ready to pay with), but the guy didn't want to stand up and walk over to the machine, and would only sell me the records if I paid him cash right there. So, we had a discussion about it and, long story short(ish), he said that I should leave the store and pay him twenty bucks 'someday'. So, after asking,"what happens if I don't come back?", and getting just a shrug as my answer, I left the store with the records and feeling kind of funny about it. After walking blocks and blocks to my car to deposit the records, my conscience was completely freaking out. It was just twenty bucks and he didn't seem too concerned to be out of it if I didn't come back, but twenty bucks is still twenty bucks. I had these crazy imaginings of the man being forced to sell his crazy-weird thrift store and living in a cardboard box outside The Blue Note because he was twenty dollars short of his rent and couldn't come up with the money anywhere. So, I scoured campus for a bank-appropriate atm and then trudged all the way back to his bizarre store and handed over the twenty bucks (at this point he was hanging out by the debit card machine, so SOMETHING had gotten his butt out of the chair, but God only knows what it was.) We had a funny sort of conversation when I returned and he seemed like a good fella afterall, but still, maybe a little trusting for a businessman? I know I don't really give off the 'robber' vibe, but looks can be deceiving, right?! I could be the world's best super criminal in my skinny jeans and crocheted sweater cardigan, hiding behind the pretense of buying the "Urban Cowboy Soundtrack" on vinyl, and he'd have been duped. But, his character judgment skills paid off for him this time around. My conscience wouldn't allow me to be a real robber. I'm definitely more of the librarian type...

However, if I was the world's best super criminal, I'd totally wear my skinny jeans and crocheted cardigan and play up my librarian persona to fool everyone. I think it would work since nobody seems to ever suspect me of anything, which is nice in my real life, but would be exceptionally awesome in a life of crime. My codename would be "Overdue" and, in the wake of my destruction, people would say, "What was that?!" and others would knowingly answer, "That was overdue."