Birthday wishes, screaming cats, and foreign dreams.

3/13/13 is sort of fun to write. Or, at least I had fun writing it all day long on forms and things. Another reason it's fun is because it's one of my good friends' birthday today: Happy Birthday to Megan! Many happy returns!

I'm still trying to settle into daylight savings time. It has not gone as easily as I had hoped. Struggle, struggle, struggle. An added problem has been that since Sunday night, there has been a really loud cat who has come to visit Bea each night from about 3-5:30 or so in the morning. I've decided it's her boyfriend. He's really really loud. Crazy loud. This morning around 5, after dealing with his crying for hours, I got up to see if I could scare him off. It sounded like he had gotten into the apartment somehow...like he was sitting in the living room, wailing at the top of his lungs. He did eventually go away, but not until he had seen me and cried and did that paw scratching thing on the patio door to ask to be let inside. Bea just hung back looking at him like he is some sort of crazy fool that can't take a hint and she has to get her mom out of bed to send him away. She was excited to have a friend the first night, I think she's kind of lonely being by herself a lot. She's a very social cat. Maybe she's learning 'be careful what you wish for' because by night three, she seemed to be getting kind of tired of it all. Still, it kind of breaks my heart, his meowing. He's so desperate. He seems to walk up and down this railroad tie fence, just wailing and wailing. Poor thing. I wish his owner would take better care of him, if he has an owner. He's such a recent arrival, I figure he's either gotten lost, or his owner has started letting him out at night. He's aware of the idea of being an 'inside' cat. I can't have another cat. This apartment isn't big enough, and Bea is quite enough to handle on her own most times. Maybe somebody who doesn't already have a pet will want one and can take this one in. I hope this not only for the cat's sake, but also for mine. I'd like a full night's sleep again. I don't relish the thought of tonight being the fourth installment of Beatrix's boyfriend wailing on the patio.

I can feel myself wanting an adventure again. Travel again. I always want to travel, but I can feel myself getting so restless that the need to travel is driving me crazy. Mostly because I don't have the money to travel far right now. But, even if I had the money, I don't know what I want to do yet or where I'd like to visit. I only have vague ideas of places I'd like to see... Paris? Ireland? Back to Peru? Maybe just a beach...anywhere. Florida? Pacific Northwest? South Carolina? California? Somewhere in Central America? A cruise? Hmm. Where to go? So many places to see.

Book talk! (It's been a while since I read anything super awesome):
I'm reading a really fantastic book right now that is in no way helping me to stomp down this travel bug. It's about Peru and a guy who was an adventure travel editor for years, but who never actually did any adventuring. He spent years tied to a desk while he assigned reporters to adventures all over the world and then he edited their stores and published them. How torturous, I think. It was high time he had an adventure of his own. He decided he wanted to follow the trail that Hiram Bingham III used to "discover" Machu Picchu. I find that I love reading travelogue books anyway (the movies that come from those travelogues are not always that good, which constantly surprises me...but I digress), but this is a travelogue of an adventure that I so recently took part in myself that it makes it even more fun. It's interesting to read because I struggle very much with trying to describe the experience I had in Peru last year. It's nice to have someone else write it and know exactly what scenery they are describing or how the Quechua people sound, or the ways the llamas and alpacas are taken care of, or just the way that the terraces look on the Andes. He also includes a lot of the history of Peru, the Incas, and Hiram Bingham in it, but told in a really interesting and often humorous way. I've laughed out loud a bunch, mostly with how truely I can relate to the total sense of 'lost' that an American can get in that place. I don't necessarily mean geographically lost (but that's easy, too), but out of your comfort zone. I mean 'lost' in the way that you lose yourself...lose your bearings...are so much in a world that has been based on things that are so foreign that you just have to give in to it and let yourself be taken by it. I think that's the sort of lost that can be good sometimes. It was great. I soaked up so much in Peru that I think it's impossible for me to explain what I saw and how I felt, but this book, "Turn Right at Machu Picchu" is helping me to get a better handle on it all. And making me want to go back again. As if I ever really wanted to leave in the first place?

Dare alla luce.

I don't have much to report on goings-on in my life, but the lives of folks around me are changing quickly! New things everywhere! Mizzou fans in general had a change over this weekend as we had our first SEC football game. I mentioned last week how excited everyone seemed to be about it. Mizzou lost to Georgia, but it was a good game and I was proud of the Tigers. I saw a Georgia sports blog post about the game and it was friendly and complimentary about Columbia, Mizzou and Mizzou fans in general. The comments that were left were also mainly pro-Mizzou and that the Georgia fans were happy to have Mizzou in the conference and respected their abilities as a football team. It was nice. I think there was some disappointment by Mizzou fans to lose, but I think they should be proud of what is happening. It's a turning point, and I think both Mizzou and Texas A&M, who also began their SEC career this weekend, both did a good job at showing that they can play in their new conferences and not be humiliated on the playing field. I was happy with everything. 

People that I used to know and still keep slight tabs on are starting over in new places all over the world. I found out this week that one is in Estonia, another in China, and one is back in Korea after being elsewhere for a while. Happy travels to all!

But, closer to my life personally, this week has been a busy one for friends! A buddy at work found out she was hired for one of our permanent positions on Friday afternoon (which she is perfect for, in my opinion, and I think she's going to kick ass at it). She had little time to let that sink in because she was also told she'd be starting immediately by heading to D.C. much of this week for training. Surprise! I missed the announcement of her hiring since I was at home on Monday, but we celebrated on Tuesday with a lunch before she hopped the eastbound plane. Tuesday was celebration central, because not only did I find out about my friend and her new job, but another buddy of mine ended up having a baby on Tuesday. She wasn't due for over a month. Surprise, again! I went to see the new family after work today and everybody's doing well. I don't know much about pre-mature babies (or any babies in general, for that matter), but this particular one looked pretty perfect, chilling out in his incubator getting all warm and cozy. Congrats to the new family! 

I follow Letters of Note, which I think I've mentioned before, but yesterday's letter was actually an advice letter from a father to a son and the end of the letter seemed totally appropriate to share while on the topic of new additions to our species. Buddha and the Greeks tend to put things better than I ever could:

"As Buddha says: live like a mighty river. And as the old Greeks said: live as though all your ancestors were living again through you."

Meet Me In St. Louis!

I spent a really fun and happy weekend in St. Louis! Between my first attempt at a 5k, visits with friends and family, good food, ten-story slides, elephants, beautiful weather and lots of laughs and smiles, it was a perfect weekend!

Photos, etc!!(I tried to re-size most of them, but I might have missed one or two. Beware if you decide to click on one that it might be gigantic):

St. Louis Color Run! I hope it returns someday!

I started the race with these ladies, they were very fun! They kept things happy when people were getting restless at the back of the pack of runners. Good people!

The first wave of runners after running through their first color (pink). My dad was taking pictures around the course and got some really good ones.

Orange color! The last color of the course. It's hard to not cheer and laugh when getting color thrown on you, but then you tend to get a snoot/mouth full of color dust. It's all part of the fun!

Completed my first 5k as part of "The Happiest 5k On The Planet!"

It was kind of chilly on Saturday morning, but if I do it again, I won't wear such dark colors so I can tell that I'm getting colorized. It was hard to tell sometimes if any color was sticking. But, my arms were color-icious and I had 'color lines' instead of tan lines. All very fun!

So, that was my first 5k experience. It was a blast! I can't say that I'm a converted runner now, but I would definitely do the Color Run again in a heartbeat. It was so much fun and everyone was cheerful and smiling and laughing. I ended up being almost in the very back of the 15,000+ crowd of runners that showed up for the event. I didn't mean to get in the very back, but it just ended up that way. I never trained for this run or anything because it's not competitive and it's just for fun, but I didn't want to miss the party at the end and people were already done with their 5k before I had even begun! It was kind of a longish wait in the 'start chute' for those of us bringing up the rear. I ended up jogging about half of the 5k! I was really impressed by that, since I don't run at all and didn't train for this or anything. It was purely trying to not miss the fun color party at the end that kept me jogging through parts that I would normally have just walked if I had been able to begin the race with the earlier groups. It was fun! Everyone was in a good mood once we got started and everyone was really happy to have the dust thrown on them. If I ever do another Color Run, I'm much better prepared now for the process of the 'dust-throwing'. I'll be better ready for the lanes and stuff that I need to be in and not just run through it because you need the volunteers to really douse you with the dust to get really colorful. I ended up much less colorful than I thought I would due to learning this kind of late in the game. Still, the entire thing was fun and I'm so glad that I did it! I recommend it for everyone! There were lots of kids, infants, and even a couple of dogs that went through the race! The volunteers were trying to not get the dust right in the face of those three categories of participants, which was nice. The dust is just made up of some non-toxic dye and corn starch, but it does kind of get up your nose and in your lungs and you do kind of cough color dust for a bit. I might share a few more pictures once I get some from my dad. I think he got a really good shot of the after-race party when people threw a lot of their color dust packets all at once. But for now, these are what I've got to share! 

The entire weekend in St. Louis was a blast! The race was just the beginning. 

We went to the City Museum and wandered around for a while. If you've never been there, you should check it out! It's a lot of fun and really amazing all the stuff there is to see/do. I was busy climbing things and sliding down ten-story slides and didn't get many pictures, but here are just a couple:

The second floor looking down toward the entrance of the City Museum. 

Quasimodo-type architecture details that were salvaged from a building in St. Louis. I love it!

There were visits with family and friends and really good food to be had this weekend, as well. It was really nice! Then, this morning, we went to the zoo pretty early in the day and many of the animals were very active and happy. I saw bouncing/twirling hippos, super-lively sea lions, and (what I went to see) the elephants (including two baby elephants)!:

Two baby elephants playing in their pool. One of them is Kenzi, who was born last Fall. I didn't know there were TWO babies, but it was really fun to watch them playing and jumping in the water. It was like a tidal wave when both babies would flop into the pool and swim around. They were having a great morning!

Raja, the male Asian elephant at the Zoo. I remember when Raja was born and going to see him when he was a baby. Now he's the father of the babies that were flopping into the water. He was really bored and just pacing around. I don't know if they allow him near the babies or not. He was separated from them this morning.

Not a trace of doubt in my mind.

Today was my first day of vacation! Staycation for the first few days, actually.

I was super impressed by my friends today. We had planned a luncheon/moral support party for a friend whose house was robbed a couple of weeks ago. The thieves took her jewelry, and this is someone who loves to coordinate her earrings and bracelets with her outfits each day. She's so put together. It's a sad situation, not only because it's scary/angering to have your house broken into, but they took all of her jewelry that she had inherited from her mom and grandmother, and all of the jewelry that she had ever gotten from her husband and children. Anyway, we told her that we were going to take her to lunch to cheer her up, but she thought that it would just be four of us for a little lunch. She was surprised when it was 12 people, all to eat lunch and support her while bringing gifts of new jewelry for her. I was so impressed that everyone had been able to keep the secret! I don't work with any of them anymore, so it was easy for me to not spill the beans, but they all kept it quiet for two weeks. Nice job, ladies! I think our cheering-up party worked pretty well. My friend was very touched by it. It doesn't erase what happened, but it makes a big difference to know that your friends are by your side and care about how you're doing and want to help. 

I made a new friend, too. It's name is Mod Podge. We're going to become better acquainted, I think. We're starting off slow by just trying to make some of the scrapbook stickers to stick on the canvases that I've been working on, but someday we might move forward to trying to decoupage tissue paper and whatnot to canvasses and other stuff. It's working pretty well so far. One thing I've come to really like about this canvas artwork is that I can use all the art and craft supplies that I've bought during all my other craft phases. So, the stamps and ink that I bought last year during the very brief 'I'll try stamping!' craft phase, and the fabric markers that I bought to customize a pair of Keds earlier this year, and all the stickers and papers that I've kept for years and years after my scrapbooking phase kind of faded away, and even the high gloss paint I recently bought for the furniture painting? All of those things I can use now to make into wall art! Hurrah! And now I have acrylic paint to add to the mix. I think purchasing Mod Podge has made me a hard-core crafter. I never knew exactly what it was before this; it was just something I had vaguely heard people talk about but, like the Monkees, I'm a believer. Plus, did you ever do that thing when you were younger with glue, where you put some on your palm, let it dry, and pull it off like it's skin? Gross, yes. Mod Podge lets you do that again! It was kind of nostalgic and fun to pull the dried glue-like substance off my palm. 

Speaking of being a believer in craftiness, here are my first three attempts at artsy fartsy canvasses for my house.

   

Plus, I'm the proud owner of three more canvasses that I hope to make pretty and put magnets on the back and stick them to my new desk at work to funkify the space a little. I'm not sure entirely what patterns or decorations to put on the ones for work. I'm leaning toward not putting words on them, but sticking with illustrations or patterns. Colorful, of course.

Oh, yeah...and too bad for the OKC Thunder losing to the Heat. I tried to watch all of Game 5 since I didn't have to go to work today. But with the Thunder losing by so much, I couldn't bear to watch.

Oh, boo. I just looked over at the end table and Bea is drinking out of my glass. Sigh. Another glass of water taken over by Miss Potter. Very few things in this house are mine anymore. At Hobby Lobby I was looking longingly at some of the colorful little glass vases that they had on clearance, thinking how lovely it would be to have a few of them in the windows with some flowers in them. And then I remembered Bea and thought of how much glass I'd be cleaning up if I dared to put anything like that in the windows of my home. I can't have nice things. 

...who walks away so easily.

I forgot my mardi gras beads. It completely slipped my mind that today is Fat Tuesday, despite yesterday realizing that my favorite restaurant in town was having a free cookie giveaway if you wore your mardi gras beads in to lunch today. (I did, however, remember that today is International Pancake Day, but I digress.) Upon realizing my forgetfulness regarding the beads, a co-worker came to the rescue and brought a couple of her mardi gras beads back from lunch. Lunch was saved. Beads were worn. After walking in to the restaurant and wagging the beads, they told me that the restaurant wasn't actually giving away free cookies with lunch, despite what their facebook page promotion said. But, I must have looked super sad at this, still wagging the beads, because the nice lady at the counter said that she'd give me a cookie for free with my sandwich. It was delicious.

I worked out this evening and decided to up the weight on one of the machines I tend to use. I only use about 4 or 5 machines. The fellow who was doing my initial health consultation only showed me how to use those handful of machines. Someday I might ask someone what a couple of the others do. Anyway, I'm pretty pleased with my little routine that I do right now, although I don't remember any recommendations for when to up the weight level that you are lifting/pushing. I guess just when you feel like giving it a go? It seemed like many women who would use the machines prior to me and who appeared to be about a half century older than me were oftentimes lifting/pushing upwards of twenty pounds more than me. I'm not in competition with anybody on weight lifting, but after nearly two months of lifting the same amount, I decided to give it a try. I'm still not pumping as much iron as some of those older ladies, but I am pushing (incrementally) more than I was. I do feel that I've made a bit of progress in that regard. I'm 'bout to go get a bowlful of m&ms soon, probably.

I was chatting with a friend of mine earlier and we have very different political views. We have basically very different backgrounds in general. We met in Italy on a study abroad trip and have stayed in touch since then. Anyway, she has been looking for a job for a while now and hasn't had much luck. She's aggravated and angry at President Obama and, I understand the aggravation, but I am still of the opinion (although perhaps I am more and more in the minority) that Obama was still the best option in 2008, and he has not done as poor a job at attempting to lead a struggling nation as some people think he has. He's tried a lot of things. Maybe the things he has done haven't been aimed at your social class, and maybe you haven't benefited from the programs he's implemented. But he has done things. He's tried programs, he's gotten laws passed, he's attempted some pretty brave programs. Some things haven't succeeded as we would all have liked, but I much prefer a president to try things rather than one who sits and does nothing. While my friend and I certainly do not see eye-to-eye on the topic of politics, we are incredibly respectful of each other's opinions. I can understand why she feels the way that she does, and I don't feel the same, but it doesn't diminish our friendship. I have to say, that one of the things I like most about my friends is the ability to speak rationally and calmly about things that we see completley differently and never sink to the level of meanness or rudeness that seems to permeate a lot of other areas of life. It's pretty cool to be coming from extremely different positions and have very strong beliefs about certain things and still be able to respect the other's opinion without feeling the need to argue, persuade, or tear down the other person. I'm proud of my friendships in that regard, especially. I think people who belittle other people because they don't see an issue the same way are not people I enjoy being around. Even when I disagree with someone, I still enjoy hearing the other viewpoint. I still like to find out why someone feels the way that they do about something. I may never truly understand it, but I can usually learn something about where the person is coming from and see another side to an issue, even if there's no way I would ever agree with them on that topic.

I heard the new Jason Mraz song on the radio several weeks ago and haven't heard it since. It stuck with me enough that I found it on youtube and fell in love with the video. It's full of old airmail envelopes! I loooooove international airmail envelopes. When I worked at the archives and handled the mail a lot, I would always get excited when I'd see the international airmail envelopes from researchers on other continents. I get a nerdy rush from letters, as you know, and I do also get a nerdy rush from the idea that a piece of mail has arrived from across the globe. Good job, Jason Mraz! Thanks for making the nerds smile with your video.

Always the first star that I find

If you've never surfed over to SomethingSwanky.com and drooled over the sweets that they showcase every day....well, I don't know what you're waiting for. You need to get on that. Last week I saw this red velvet cake batter dip on Pinterest and followed the link back to SomethingSwanky and nearly lost my mind at the awesomeness of everything I saw. But, this red velvet cake batter dip + funfetti sugar cookies was what blew my mind the most. I can't think of anything that would taste better than this. This even beats out chocolate for me...which I thought would be an impossible feat.

Although, on the topic of chocolate, I've had the brownies with the Symphony chocolate bar in the middle and I can vouch for the amazingness of that, as well. You won't ever want to bake anything without checking out this website first for ideas. It's so awesome.

This weekend went by so fast, but it was such fun. I went to another going-away party, and that was fun. It was with the same group who had to say goodbye to someone last month, as well. I feel like there's been a lot of leaving in the last few years. Lots of going-aways, very few welcome-backs. But, that's the way it is, I guess? It was fun. This was for someone I used to work with who got herself a job back closer to where she grew up. She's pretty excited to go back and who can blame her? I think she'll be happier there, even though she will be missed here. The party was cowboy-themed and included fuzzy mustaches for everyone, sheriff and sheriff's deputy badges, and cowboy hats. Good time. Then I went to a baby shower and it was really fun, too. Lots of cute things and activities. Sometimes baby showers can be a little too cutesy for me. I get kind of overdosed on the 'aww'. But, this was really cleverly done because it was done as a battle of the sexes sort of baby shower and the culmination was for the grandmother to cut the cake that my friend had baked and the inside of the cake would be either blue or pink and that would tell the gender of the baby. Her mother started to cry a little when she cut the cake and found out the baby was a boy. It was really cute. I liked how that was done. Nobody but the parents knew the gender of the baby, so it was exciting for everyone to find out at once. Hunter Amos will make his debut in April. It was a really well-done shower. I had a good time. It was fun too, because it was with some ladies that I don't get to see very often. I went to high school with them and I only see them now and again, so it was really great. Two acted as hostesses for the baby shower and they did such a great job at the planning of it all. Not to mention the soon-to-be mom, who is such a good chef that the cake and everything was delicious. Mmm.

It occurs to me, thinking back over the weekend, that I know some damn good party planners. I myself loathe planning parties or having to act as hostess to anything. I'm always super impressed by people who plan activities that are actually fun to do or clever or creative. I don't mind participating in activities, I just hate being the one having to make preparations and explain rules and things to a bunch of people. I'm a bit of a wallflower when it comes to social situations, especially parties. I prefer to be led or left alone...usually to eat cookies or cake if there is such a thing at the party. There were both at the parties this weekend. Nom, nom, nom.

I really am going to go back to the health plex this week. Tomorrow, I think if all goes well. I'm feeling better and slowly sounding better.

Beatrix usually sleeps with me all night and tends to be a pretty easy-going cat. She usually just sleeps the whole night. Or used to. Since I got back from Peru, she seems to be off-kilter a bit. Or maybe she's pissed off that I left. She's very clearly off routine, whatever the reason. She woke me up at 3:30 this morning by sitting next to my head and then slapping my face with her paws. I was not amused. She does that when she gets bored and wants attention. The slapping part is less dangerous now than it used to be when she still had claws, but it's still an unhappy way to be woken up, especially 3 hours before the alarm has to go off. After she wouldn't stop, she was kicked out of the room. She's starting to recognize when I'm mad at her. She gets her full name used and it only takes once and she's usually got the idea that she's in trouble. Progress in the Hartke house! She's a very good cat and rarely gets in trouble, except in cases like last night where she gets ornery about wanting attention when I'm asleep. I'm hoping we leave this phase behind us shortly.

I'm becoming more of a tea drinker lately. It isn't just because I'm sick, either. I think it has more to do with the fact that at work we have an automatic hot water dispenser (I don't mean the faucet). It takes the hassle out of making tea because you don't have to mess with the  microwave or anything. It's piping hot filtered water! It's great for oatmeal, too. I love it. Here's to hoping that (if you don't have an automatic hot water dispenser) you someday get to experience the awesomeness of this development as well.

Work is once again pretty lonely. Pandora is keeping me company today. Guster is singing about how you are his satellite. Happy Monday!

Chase this light

I'm still in the process of cleaning out/clearing out areas of my house and today I made the switch and have the orange room mostly done as the music room now. As I was going through various and sundry cabinets and cubby holes in various pieces of furniture I found the box my camera came in with all instruction books and, the most amazing find of all: an extra lens, sun shield and remote for the camera! So I'm trying to figure out how to use these things and decide whether I want to take them to South America or not. I would like to, but I'm also kind of harping on this idea of packing really lightly. I don't want to lug suitcases all over creation down there. I have a backpack, but it's just a bit on the small side to be able to work as my only pack, I think. I'm willing to give it a go and stuff it full of things, but I'm not that optimistic about this travel light idea. And if I keep cleaning and finding more things to take along, I really won't be traveling light.

Beatrix's "cat sitter" came by today to meet her and get a key for while I'm gone and she and I used to work together and are friends. I saw her last month at a party, but we always find more things to chat about when we get together. And sure enough, we stood around and yammered away at each other for nearly an hour and a half. It was really nice to get to visit for a while. But, it's sort of the awkward kind of visit, when someone stops by for one purpose and then you start to talk about other things and before you know it, an hour has gone by and you're still standing around talking. And that's cool, except my legs get tired from standing in the kitchen for an hour talking, but there's no place to sit in the kitchen and I tried to move the conversation to the living room, but my couches were covered in things because I'm moving the rooms around, so it was still like we were stuck standing around and talking. She didn't seem to mind, though. She's cool like that. As soon as she left though, I shoved a pile of stuff down the couch and flopped down for a bit.

I need to take down my Christmas stuff. I wanted to do that today, as well as move the rooms around. I still plan to get that tree down this weekend. I tried to take a bunch of books that I had into a trade-a-book place in town today in the hopes of freeing up some bookshelf space. Well, I ended up buying a bunch of other books to fill the space, so I'm right back where I started. I know better than to expect to have any free space on a bookshelf. I did notice though that the trade-a-book place in town is carrying more genres of books than they used to. It used to be mainly romance novels, but they've got some decent fiction and historical fiction and even branching into young adult books, too. I saw a cookbook section, too. I was surprised. I'm sure they have some other types that I missed, as well. Anyway, I have plenty of reading material to make up for the lack of assigned readings for school. It's starting to begin to sink in that I won't be going to classes this semester. I'm seeing people arriving back on campus each day and they're carrying their bags of text books and talking to each other about what classes they're taking this semester, etc. It's both cool and a little strange to work on a college campus and not be a student. It's like you belong, but kind of have outgrown parts of it, too.

Okay, am going to watch a couple of episodes of "The Tudors" (I'm on the final season),having dinner, and then I am definitely taking down the Christmas tree.

p.s. Have you heard the duet of Lady Gaga and Tony Bennett doing "The Lady Is A Tramp"? Bennett's entire duet album is great, but this song is extra fabulous, I think. You should hear it.

You can never really travel alone.

Today at work I happened upon a book from the Luxembourg Museum of Art. And I was cataloging it and remembering meeting a touring choir from Luxembourg when I was 16 on a train trip through Western Canada. It was a multi-day train trip and they were very very nice. And we said our goodbyes and went on our merry ways. And then, at the end of the vacation, my family and I once again ran into the choir in the middle of a pier in Victoria, British Columbia. All of us just walking through at the same time and suddenly all going 'Hey! Hi! How is the trip going! Nice to see you again!' and it was like a meeting of travelers. And I always think about them when I hear about Luxembourg and I wonder how they're all doing. It was kind of an unusual experience. That's one of the awesome things about traveling by train: the people you meet. I've never gone on a train trip and not met someone fascinating. It's a great way to travel because you realize how many people are traveling at the same time. When you go on family vacations and you drive and it's really just you going someplace, you don't get the same feeling as you do on an extended travel excursion with other people like trains or cruises or tours, etc. Some people don't like to travel with strangers but, the thing is, those people aren't strangers at the end of the trip. It's worth the awkward getting-to-know-people phase, I think. And you never really travel alone, do you? I mean, you remember people that you meet along the way. And sometimes I wonder if anybody remembers me and my family from that train trip a decade ago? If they ever wonder where the little family from Missouri ended up?

Many years ago a friend of mine said something when we were traveling around Italy and it's stayed with me: Do you ever wonder how many strangers' photo albums you're in? I had never wondered it. I'd never even thought of it, but it's amazing to think about. How many touristy places have you been? How many pictures have you inadvertently ended up in from tourists all over the world? It's something to think about. You could be in a photo album in Prague. Or in Rome. Or in Mexico City. Or in Tokyo. You are in the albums of strangers who happened to be in the same spot as you for a moment in time:

[A picture of mine from Milan last summer.]

The Big 5 and why I dislike Facebook (Warning: this is reaaally long).

Yesterday at lunch, my friend Megan and I were discussing friendships. With my birthday, she told me that we had now been friends for half of our lives, which brought us onto the topic of long lasting friendships. I kept thinking about it and, in 27 years of life, I have 5 people (outside of family) that I would do nearly anything for. We'll call them the 'Big 5'. At first, I thought that was kind of sad to have only 5 really close friends in over a quarter of a century's time, but I think the word 'friend' is so subjective that it sort of doesn't mean much without some explanation. I use friend pretty loosely to describe people that I don't know that well. But I also use the word to describe the Big 5. I have more friends than the Big 5, but they're more like 'people I'm getting to know better', 'people I see occasionally but don't really talk to about much in particular', 'people I have a) or b) in common with but that's as far as the friendship goes', etc. The Big 5 are different. Each of those five are the sorts of friendships that are totally secure and almost effortless in maintenance. None of them live in the same place as I do, so we don't constantly hang out. Time passes between conversations and even more time between actual visits, but as soon as the conversation starts or the visit begins, it's like no time has passed at all. I think everyone has at least someone that they have this kind of friendship with. If not, I hope you find one, because it's freaking awesome.

Some people might argue that social networking allows these long-distance/long-standing friendships to happen more often now than maybe it used to because you can stay connected more easily? I don't think so. I would argue that social networking makes people much lazier in their relationships than they ever used to be. The Big 5 and I don't use the social networking sites to stay connected. We are all on Facebook (although some of us don't use it), and only two of us actually use Twitter to exchange little messages now and again. The problem with social networking sites is that people no longer talk to each other. They sit alone with their computer and stalk websites to find out what the people they used to hang out with are up to now. And while they might now and again have a conversation or actually be in the physical presence of the person, it's a much more lazy and dis-connected sort of friendship than I think things used to be. That's one of the reasons I'm tired of things like Facebook; I don't think it's helpful in any real way at keeping friendships going. It keeps people aware that other people are still on the planet, but aside from that, what's the use? You still don't really know what's going on with the person. And a lot of the time, people have others as friends that they probably wouldn't hang out with even if they had the chance. Maybe you went to school together or worked together or played pee-wee soccer together, and you didn't hang out then, but by God, you're friends on Facebook now and you know when the person gets married or has a kid or what they're making for dinner. But really: If you didn't hang out with them at the time, and you never speak to them, it begs the question: Why do you care what they're eating for dinner? For something known by the term social networking, I see very little actual socializing going on.

I got way off on a tangent there. That was not the point of my posting tonight. Megan did a really sweet bday tribute blog post about our friendship over on her Mrs. Tgo blog and I was really touched and thought that was a great idea. Since I was already still thinking about these sorts of things, I thought I'd introduce my blog to my Big 5 through brief introductions. Now, frankly, you can look at the followers thingy and pretty much see who they are (minus 1 who doesn't do this kind of thing at all), but this is how I roll:

Oksana (Oxi) - She was my college roommate for 3 years. We met when I got seriously angry and moved out of the dorms during the first week of my sophomore year of college. She got seriously angry and moved out of an apartment at about the same time (her first year of graduate school and newly arrived in America from Ukraine). And boom: there we were. Two strangers from different countries roomie-matched by a somewhat dysfunctional apartment manager. We were very different but similar in all the ways that make it easy to live with another person: mutual respect, curiosity about the other person's thoughts and interests, patience, the ability to stay up and listen/talk for hours about nothing and anything, and neither of us assumed that the other would clean up our mess. Over the three years, she became like a member of the family and spent holidays at home with my parents and me, and when my mom died, she was a gigantic support because she'd lost her mom at a young age. She is a math genius (not kidding) who makes me believe in romantic soulmates because if anybody somehow managed to find the perfect match, it was she in an Italian named Damiano. They are wonderful and I miss them, especially now that I am back at Mizzou and she is not. She makes an impression on people and they can't help but like her. She is someone who strongly believes in many things and I admire that about her. She has her convictions and stands by them no matter what, but is never condescending or arrogant. She is a very kind soul and I am amazed that such a dysfunctional apartment manager could have done such a good job at roommate matching.


Megan - As the one who lives closest to me (a mere 30 miles), she and I get to hang out frequently and as such, she has heard my gripes about various things over the last couple of years. She is a good listener and I don't feel weird griping to her about things that I might consider kind of trivial if I were talking to someone else. She listens no matter how dumb the things you say might sound. She is not afraid to be goony with me, and as two people who became friends at the beginning of our teenage years, having someone to do the goony things with has been a lifesaver. She will wear a dumb fisherman's hat and wander around in public with me. She understands the picky eater philosophy. If you can imagine two 13-year-old girls in glasses and matching P.E. uniforms (Go Patriots) playing ping pong on the stage of a middle school gymnasium shouting out letters as they hit the ball (letters that spelled out the names of teen celebrities we adored), you have an idea of the kind of gooniness that she doesn't mind participating in. She has a quiet strength that seems to make sense out of chaos. She is a planner and I wish I was half as detail-oriented as she. She's very creative and has a special talent for making things on her sewing machine. And she FINALLY is into The Big Bang Theory, so I have someone to recap and laugh about the show with every week.

Anela - We met in Waco, Texas, and she is my newest close friend, but she is one of the few people I can actually remember the moment we became friends. The first weeks in Texas were pretty lonely and I remember deciding to go to a party that one of the older graduate students was having. Anela also wanted to go, so we drove together. We hadn't really talked much but both were kind of wanting to make sure we tried to make friends in this new situation. And before we even got to the apartment where the party was, Anela had already asked me to be her roommate the next year. I remember being very surprised and at how trusting and upfront she was. As it turned out, I wouldn't return to Texas after that year, but she is the one person from that very short period of my life that I still consider a real friend. She is early to things, where I am almost always late, but we have many things in common: she is a fellow history buff and misses the days of getting actual letters in your real mailbox by your house (so we send real live letters to each other, and it totally brightens my day when I get one); we're museumphiles, and she loves BBC dramas and sitcoms as much as I (or, maybe even more). She's the one who understands me when I discuss Lionel and Jean as if I actually know them. She will go to Jimmy Buffett concerts and enjoy the drunken crazies as much as me, all the while shouting "Fins to the Left!!" and laughing when the drunk man in the coconut bra gets in her face. Her family hails from Hawaii and she can actually hula. If you are lucky enough to be her friend, she might brave a Hawaiian swap meet and get you some flowery carseat covers for your hoopty car. And, as a fellow Baylor men's basketball supporter, she understands the need to root for the underdog in basketball games and doesn't give up on them when they continuously mess up. One of these days, those Baylor Bears will show the world. One of these days.

Julia (Jules) - I have no memory of life pre-Julia. There is photographic evidence showing that we were already friends by the time I was 2 and a half and she was 3. The famous picture is of me sitting next to her, blowing out her birthday candles and her just sitting there looking kind of bewildered. I have no clue how we became friends, really. If you've seen that video going around of the two twin babies having a conversation amongst themselves in seemingly gibberish? Maybe that's how it began. After twenty-five years of friendship, there have been times when we talk a lot and when we don't, but nothing changes and we treat each other the same today as we did when we were in daycare. We grew up almost as a team. At some point, she became "Jules" and I don't recall ever asking her if she minded that I call her that, but that's how it is. Despite constantly growing up around each other and spending much of our elementary days being called by the other's name, we are not all that similar in our interests. She is musically inclined, I am not. She enjoys science fiction (a lot). I do not. She can tell you a bunch of sports statistics. I cannot. Despite this, we have such a long history that, even though our lives go down different paths, we are still connected. It's almost like looking in a mirror because we each know where the other is coming from, what they've been through, and that the other is unconditionally there for us. She's like my friendship security blanket, because when people just don't seem to get where I'm coming from on a certain issue, I go to her and usually get validation that I'm not insane in my opinion and that, obviously, the other person is completely off-base. Everybody needs that sometimes.

Anna - I don't remember meeting Anna, either. I have a bad memory for first meetings. I know by middle school, we were friends. She is my travel buddy and my outdoorsy friend. We have very different aptitudes. She is a math whiz (a trait she shares with Oksana), and I am much more language arts-inclined. She was in music, while I was in art classes. She recently admitted not even knowing there was a ceramics class in high school. Not a big deal as I have no idea what math courses were offered once you got beyond the basic requirement for college. She is brave. She walked out onto the Skydeck of the Willis Tower in Chicago like nothing was out of the ordinary (while I crawled onto the ledge through the legs of bystanders). She enjoys running and recently went through surgery that had her unable to walk much for quite some time, but she is planning to run a 5K in a few months. She gets her heart broken but is not incapacitated by it. She is patient and dislikes scary movies just as much as I do. We have very similar senses of humor and can have a blast just sitting in a living room and laughing at a dog. She is one of the most honest people I've ever known. Even if she doesn't come out and say it, usually her facial expression will totally give her away. There is no pretentiousness about Anna. She is genuine.


There they are. Now you've met the Big 5. They are fabulous and wonderful and our friendships not only stand the test of time, but also are not immobilized by the interwebs. We keep in touch through various means and not hearing from one for a while doesn't send me into a panic because I know that we are securely buddies. I think everyone has people that are like this (or I hope they do) and now you've met mine.